Friday, October 30, 2015

Well… The last few days

The last few days have been rough ones. I did a presentation at work and I am naturally my own worst critic because I think it went horribly. I have no real evidence to suggest that it did but that is just where my mind keeps going and every time I think about it I want to cry (and more often then not, I do).

And then there is the new guy that I'm seeing. It's been so long since I was dating and dating a guy I actually really like and get along with that I'm convinced that the other shoe will drop and he'll realize how crazy I am. Again, I have no evidence to suggest this and he in fact says that he likes me and wants to get to know me better.

So I guess what this post is really about is how hard I am on myself. I am my worst critic, my biggest obstacle and my total worst enemy. I hate the nasty little voice in my head!! I think that I'm generally a confident and capable person and I know that I'm pretty and funny and people generally like me… So why does this pain in the ass voice win every single time.

I know that I shouldn't listen to her. But it's impossible to ignore sometimes when I feel like she is screaming at me sometimes with every breath I take!!

I hope this will pass and I'll be able to go back to being my dorky normally insecure self as opposed to the raging lunatic I feel like I'm being now. I'm going to focus on what I love and what I know I'm good at, like writing (and reading and eating… You get it). And I am comforted by the fact that I know that this is not just me. There are lots of men and women that feel like this at times.

LOVE YOU ALL!!

3 comments:

  1. Remember to breathe. Don't always expect the worst because it can happen because of it. Take what you know to be true and use it to keep that little nagging voice quiet. And most importantly remember that you are as awesome as you described yourself here!

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  2. Thanks Jon C!! I sometimes need to remember that and I'm so glad that I have great friends to remind me :)

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