The last few days have been rough ones. I did a presentation at work and I am naturally my own worst critic because I think it went horribly. I have no real evidence to suggest that it did but that is just where my mind keeps going and every time I think about it I want to cry (and more often then not, I do).
And then there is the new guy that I'm seeing. It's been so long since I was dating and dating a guy I actually really like and get along with that I'm convinced that the other shoe will drop and he'll realize how crazy I am. Again, I have no evidence to suggest this and he in fact says that he likes me and wants to get to know me better.
So I guess what this post is really about is how hard I am on myself. I am my worst critic, my biggest obstacle and my total worst enemy. I hate the nasty little voice in my head!! I think that I'm generally a confident and capable person and I know that I'm pretty and funny and people generally like me… So why does this pain in the ass voice win every single time.
I know that I shouldn't listen to her. But it's impossible to ignore sometimes when I feel like she is screaming at me sometimes with every breath I take!!
I hope this will pass and I'll be able to go back to being my dorky normally insecure self as opposed to the raging lunatic I feel like I'm being now. I'm going to focus on what I love and what I know I'm good at, like writing (and reading and eating… You get it). And I am comforted by the fact that I know that this is not just me. There are lots of men and women that feel like this at times.
LOVE YOU ALL!!