Friday, October 30, 2015

Well… The last few days

The last few days have been rough ones. I did a presentation at work and I am naturally my own worst critic because I think it went horribly. I have no real evidence to suggest that it did but that is just where my mind keeps going and every time I think about it I want to cry (and more often then not, I do).

And then there is the new guy that I'm seeing. It's been so long since I was dating and dating a guy I actually really like and get along with that I'm convinced that the other shoe will drop and he'll realize how crazy I am. Again, I have no evidence to suggest this and he in fact says that he likes me and wants to get to know me better.

So I guess what this post is really about is how hard I am on myself. I am my worst critic, my biggest obstacle and my total worst enemy. I hate the nasty little voice in my head!! I think that I'm generally a confident and capable person and I know that I'm pretty and funny and people generally like me… So why does this pain in the ass voice win every single time.

I know that I shouldn't listen to her. But it's impossible to ignore sometimes when I feel like she is screaming at me sometimes with every breath I take!!

I hope this will pass and I'll be able to go back to being my dorky normally insecure self as opposed to the raging lunatic I feel like I'm being now. I'm going to focus on what I love and what I know I'm good at, like writing (and reading and eating… You get it). And I am comforted by the fact that I know that this is not just me. There are lots of men and women that feel like this at times.

LOVE YOU ALL!!

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Taking Care of Yourself

I feel like my posts lately have been really centred on how stressed out and crazed I am. So to change it up, I thought today I would write about what I am doing to start to help myself.

When you are really stressed out and overwhelmed, it's really easy to forget about the little things in your life, and it's amazing the impact that it can have. I know that I have let a few things slip in the last few months and now I'm really trying to refocus on getting back into good habits.

One of the things that I have been bad at is cleaning. My place has never been a nasty mess, but it also hasn't been very tidy in the last few months. So everyday for the last week I've been focusing on getting one thing/room/area tidy and organized. It's amazing how just focusing on doing one small project a day has made a huge difference in how I feel. Slowly I feel like I'm getting rid of the clutter and junk and getting back to myself!!

I also noticed that I didn't have my blinds open for a really long time. It was no wonder that I was always feeling so grey and blah when I had no natural light coming into my apartment!!

I also decided to focus on what I enjoyed doing and focus less on what was stressing me out! Getting back to reading and writing has made a HUGE difference in how I've been feeling lately, and who knows, maybe once I'm done my novel it'll be published and I'll make a million dollars and all my problems will be solved!! (Ahhh, the dream)

I also continue the job search and apply to every job I find interesting. Some I'm not qualified for, others I'm over qualified for, some I just don't even know!! But I'm interested in all of them, so hopefully something happens there.

But as always, I ask for you to send me positive vibes and love my way! And if you know of any jobs that you think I might be awesome at, let me know!!