Monday, September 29, 2014

Domestic Violence

So, in recent news there has been a great deal of talk about domestic violence in the wake of 2 NFL scandals. Now, these conversations are important and valid, but also a little one sided, in my opinion. They focus on men hitting women, and men hitting children. And that happens, a lot more then it ever should. However, there are plenty of cases where women hit men, and women hit children. And people in same sex partnerships can also be victims of domestic violence. So why is the conversation mostly focused on men vs. women and children?

I think that the general view is that this is somehow worse then other types of domestic violence. Boys shouldn't hit girls. And yes, boys shouldn't hit girls, and men shouldn't hit women, and men shouldn't hit children. BUT NOBODY SHOULD HIT ANYBODY ELSE!! Isn't that the message that we should be sending. That nobody deserves to be hit, or slapped, or yelled at and talked down to. That domestic violence in any of it's forms is about power and control and not gender or sexual orientation.

More and more we see on the news that we are becoming an angrier, more violent society. Problems are being solved with fists and knifes and guns. Children, I'm going to repeat that… CHILDREN, are putting put on anti depressants, anti psychotics and mood stabilizers at ever increasing rates (NOTE: I have no firm statistics to back this up since this is not a research paper nor an article, but we all know that it's true). If we weren't somehow failing as a society, how could this be happening? Are children some how crazier then they were 20 or 30 years ago? I'm not sure. But I know that it's not good.

And people are quick to blame video games and rap music for the downturn in children's behaviour. But what I want to know, is where are the parents? I know that parents can't be there all the time, and I don't advocate that you bubble wrap your children and never let them grow. But if you don't want your child listening to rap or playing those games, how come they are. And if they are, shouldn't have a discussion with them about fantasy versus reality and what is except able outside the game, or once the song is over? Isn't that parenting? I can remember being a kid who would love to play out TMNT and we played with toy guns, but my parents explained that that was play. And if we ever picked up a real gun, we wouldn't be long for the world!

I sort of got away from the main topic there… Moving on.

My point is really that we should be focusing on the fact the somebody hit somebody else, and it doesn't matter if they were drunk, and it doesn't matter if she "provoked" it, and it doesn't matter if she stays or goes… It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't happen to anyone, male or female, grown up or  child. I hope that in the relationship in question that this was an isolated incident and that they are seeking help to understand and move on. I also hope that they are finding a way to explain this to their daughter some day, because thanks to the internet, it will never go away.

1 comment:

  1. Great post - I agree that not enough is being said about all violence. Men who are abused have almost no voice and that is wrong. This needs to change!